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  • Writer's pictureJaneM

Your life is always going to be messy

Your life is always going to be messy, that’s the nature of the story; your life will often feel incomplete, you’ll search for conclusions, you’ll worry about ‘getting there’ instead of ‘being here’, you’re always going to be bound by change and things will seldom go to plan. You’ll fret for the future because of your past and, in doing so, lose what you have in the present.

Your life is always going to be messy. By pretending to be someone else you’ll attract people you don’t like and you won’t attract the people you’d really like to be around. People will sometimes misunderstand you and misrepresent you. People will form their own opinion and idea of you, no matter how clearly you present yourself. It’s best to learn who you really are and just be yourself and be with people who love you for who you are, not for the impression of you that you might have created. It’s best not to compromise yourself to ‘fit in’ and best not to spend time with people you feel you have to impress. It’s always best to be yourself.

You’ll have successes, you’ll have failures, you’ll have wealth, you’ll have poverty, one problem solved might create two new problems to be solved and the people you love might leave you.

But, however the story of your life plays out you will still have this moment, right now. And in this moment, right now, things are ok. Just in this moment. You’re reading my words and there is no goal, no image of perfection, no comparison, no ‘should’ or ‘should not’ and everything you’re sitting with right now is entirely appropriate.

It can feel like a relief, to understand and acknowledge that your life won’t follow a plan. That life is messy. That some things won’t work out. It can feel like a relief to understand and acknowledge that we can’t control how other people behave or how events in our life will unfold. It can feel like a relief to understand and acknowledge that it’s our thoughts that feed our emotions, our way of thinking about other people’s behaviour or the events in our life — that’s what drives and determines our emotions, not the events themselves.

It can feel like a relief to understand and acknowledge that we can take a moment away from our thoughts. And, in doing so, in taking a moment, we’re helping ourselves to take control over how we respond to those thoughts.

This moment is perfect, just as it is.

Your whole life might feel like an imperfect mess. But how can that be when you have this perfect moment? This perfect, peaceful moment, in a life that’s filled with moments.

© Jane Milne 2017

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